When I was a kid I memorized this little anonymous verse.
He drew a circle that shut us out
Heretic, rebel a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win
We drew a circle that took him in.
The following reflection speaks to the same issue.
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[A] relationship comes to the breaking point. There is an argument which separates the
two. One breaks it off and says: "It is all over between us." . . .
But the one who loves says: "I abide. We shall yet speak with one another, because
silence also belongs to conversation at times." Is this not so? Even if it is three years
since they last spoke together, it doesn’t make any difference. If you saw two people
sitting silently together and you knew nothing more, would you thereby conclude that it
was three years since they spoke to each other? Can anyone determine how long a
silence must be in order to say, now there is no more conversation? Does the dance
cease because one dancer has gone away? In a certain sense, yes. But if the other still
remains standing in the posture that expresses a turning towards the one who has left,
and if you know nothing about the past, then you will say, "Now the dance will begin just
as soon as the other comes." Put the past out of the way; drown it in the forgiveness of
the eternal by abiding in love. Then the end is the beginning and there is no break! . . .
What marvelous strength love has! The most powerful word that has ever been said,
God’s creative word, is: "Be." But the most powerful word any human being has ever
said is, "I abide." Reconciled to himself and to his conscience, the one who loves goes
without defense into the most dangerous battle. He only says: "I abide." But he will
conquer, conquer by his abiding. There is no misunderstanding that cannot be
conquered by his abiding, no hate that can ultimately hold up to his abiding—in eternity
if not sooner. If time cannot, at least the eternal shall wrench away the other’s hate.
Yes, the eternal will open his eyes for love. In this way love never fails—it abides.
Søren Kierkegaard, in Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kierkegaard
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