The Hurt that Fills a Hollow Heart

Cal Thomas recently published (it was in the Chicago Tribune today) a poignant remembrance of his brother, Marshall, who lived his life with Downs' Syndrome, and recently passed away. You can find it here.

Mr. Thomas describes how his brother enriched his parents' and his life. "They [his parents] might have taken more vacations, owned a fancier house and driven a luxurious car, but before we valued things more than people, they valued Marshall more than any tangible thing. And that care rubbed off on me and other family members."

Mr. Thomas says that despite the hardship of caring for a disabled man who lived 40 years beyond his life expectancy, "we never regretted that decision [to keep and care for son and brother] because of the joy Marshall brought to our lives."

Mr. Thomas goes on to say, "In an age when we discard the inconvenient and unwanted in order to pursue pleasure and a life free of burdens, this may seem strange to some.

"I recall a line from the long-running Broadway musical, 'The Fantastiks': 'Deep in December, it's nice to remember, without a hurt the heart is hollow.'

"Marshall Thomas' 'hurts' filled a number of hollow hearts."

What a wonderful tribute to the true love that enlivens lives. Jean-luc Marion, in the article cited yesterday, observes that I truly love only when I gratuitously give the other space in which to appear. Since I have at my disposal no other space than my own, "I must take what is mine, take from myself, in order to open the space where the other may appear." (p166).

"It is up to me to set the stage for the other, not as an object that I hold under contract and whose play I thus direct, but as the uncontrollable, the unforeseeable, and the foreign stranger who will affect me, provoke me, and -- possibly -- love me."

This is Jesus' "command" to us, as quoted in John 13:34: "I give you a new commandment: that you may love one another, that just as I have loved you, you too may love one another."

We Christians need to wake up to what love means, for our spirits have closed on others:
"Recent US studies have indicated that when Down syndrome is diagnosed prenatally, 84% to 91% of those babies will be killed by abortion." See Physicians For Life website.

The only way to change is to follow strictly Christ's life-giving command to love, meaning to give others space out of my own. Then, as Cal Thomas' memoir shows, the joy of loving can combine with the "hurt" to fill the hollow of our hearts.

Mother Teresa aptly called attention to how this command is satisfied. She said, "It is Jesus to whom we do everything; we love Jesus." Cited in Giussani's "How We Become Christian."

Listen to Jerry Orbach sing "Try to Remember"

Listen to Ed Ames sing the same.

Listen to the Letterman sing the same.

Lyrics to Finale: Metaphor To Remember: Love! You are love! Better far than a metaphor Can ever, ever be. Love! (Love!) You are love! (You are love!) My mystery (My mystery) Of love! (...) Deep in December, It's nice to remember, Although you know the snow will follow. Deep in December, It's nice to remember, Without a hurt the heart is hollow. Deep in December, It's nice to remember, The fire of September that made us mellow. Deep in December, Our hearts should remember And follow.