On the Becoming of a Child

 Balthasar, early in his short essay on becoming a child, takes us to the most intimate of our connections, the creative ability of God. The mystery into which his contemplation takes the reader is portrayed as the sacred union of God and mankind and reflected in this union is the sanctity  of the the union of man and woman. Contemplating this collaboration between God and mankind and God’s highest forms of creation, man and woman, we can appreciate God’s plan of creation with wonder and awe. Yet, we in our hubris and self-reliance reduce our sexuality by considering this magnificent gift to be just another form of recreation or make of it a merely physical process that can be manipulated to cater to our desires and whims. In so doing the sacred nature of the mystery loses its hold on our spirit.

Quoting from the essay:

Nevertheless, there does exist the sphere in which every person born possesses an archetypical model in keeping with which he is to direct his conscious life, surely following the course of his existence into the future but always with the memory of his origins before him.

Between the mother and the child she bears in her womb there exists an "archetypical identity", a unity which by no means is purely "natural", "physiological" or "unconscious": the child is already itself, it is already something "other" than the mother because it derives from the man's seed as much as from her. She had to conceive in order for the child to come to be in her, to come out of her most intimate being, as of course the father too had to receive from his wife in order to become fruitful in her. They had to be "two in one flesh", with mutual gratitude, in order to be able to procreate and love the new life that surpasses them both, the new life that will owe its existence to both of them together but for which they, together, will always have to be thankful in the site of the absolute creative Power that transcends them: "Children are a gift of the Lord" (Ps 127:3). Neither father nor mother would pretend that their contribution has given the child its spirit, its freedom, its immediacy with God.

Unless You Become Like This Child, Hans Urs von Balthasar, pp. 15-16

Paean to Motherhood

             A Daughter's Reflection

Ryan is a sweet boy, but he’s not a big cuddler. Certain conditions have to be met. He’ll sit on grandpas lap if there’s food involved (which there usually is). He’ll sit with Auntie Juli no matter what. And he’ll sit with me if I’m singing to him. I taught him that mama only sings if he’s resting his head on my shoulder. (Manipulative? Maybe, but a mamas gotta do what she can for some snuggles.) So each night we sit in his chair and I ask do you want mama to sing to you? He looks at me expectantly, and I start listing songs. When I get to the one he wants, he puts his head down. Usually after a few choruses he will sit up and gesture toward his crib and I put him down and off he goes into slumber.

But tonight he’s not feeling well and instead of gesturing toward his crib he’s signing more. Who am I to refuse this sweet boy a few extra cuddles? Soon he will be vying for some mama time with a little brother. And before long he won’t want to sit in his chair with his mama and be sung to. So we sang more verses of his current favorite, old Macdonald. Eventually we ran out of animals that you find on a farm and we resorted to other things that make noise, like buses, monkeys, and Ellie.

It’s such a bittersweet thing watching your children grow. I’m so amazed by him and how hard he works, and I rejoice in every milestone, or inchstone as some of

my fellow mamas who have kids with delays will say. But there’s a sadness in knowing that one day these moments will stop and be replaced with different, but amazing-in-their-own-way moments.

I want to always remember how he selects his bedtime songs at night. The weight of his little body on my lap, and his head on my shoulder. What his favorite songs are and how he giggles when I change the lyrics or sing parts of the song super fast. I want to remember how he sucks his thumb to the point of developing a little circle callous on his knuckle, and how he likes to wrap his blankie in his hand just so. These are just a few of the little things that make Ryan so adorably Ryan. It’s been such a joy and honor to watch these little quirks develop and I know it will be sad to watch them fade, but incredible to watch as he continues to grow and become even more his own person. 💙