about the power, the euphoria, the joy of loving. But in real life, the defects in loving, the dark side of love, are much more up close and personal. That is, sin usually prevails over love. What are these defects: Thomas Aquinas catalogues them in his treatise on charity: hatred, sloth, envy, discord, contention, schism, war, strife, sedition, and scandal. And that list is just the start! The Betrayal of Charity, Matthew Levering, p. 2.And so the "heavy lifting" of love is really the work of overcoming love's defects in our lives. This requires repentance, self-sacrifice and asking for forgiveness. If the root of all sin is pride, its antidote is humility and repentance, displacement from the pedestal of power. Of course, that is just what we don't want to accept. We are all about loving feelings, but what about when love requires stepping back, refraining from touching, accepting the fact when the good of the loved one is not consonant with our desire?
The blessings we find in this hard work are nevertheless divine. As Pope Benedict said in Deus Caritas Est, "Love is 'divine' because it comes from God and unites us to God; through this unifying process it makes us a 'we' which transcends our divisions and makes us one, until in the end God is 'all in all' (1 Cor 15:28)." As Levering observes, Christ promised to those who love him that he (and his father) "will come to him and make our home with him" (John 14:23). Ibid.
Love is more about what we let go of or give up than what we grasp or get. Rather than engage, love often means me we must disengage. Let go of the dark sides of love: jealousy, envy, contention, desire for control, desire to be "right," desire for the last word. But what we give up, we get back in a unity that is divine.
Listen to the Bee Gees "How Deep Is Your Love?"
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